Last night I hung out with Jenny's friend Christine from San Francisco. She was wearing the same amazing Payless shoes that Jenny has. I got pretty drunk, at which point, in explaining how much I didn't want to live there anymore, I probably said the words "New York" six hundred times. If New York had a dick, Christine would have noted how much I obviously miss fucking it.
Jenny also has these combat boots that are legitimately sold on send-a-salami-to-your-boy-in-the-army Marine Corps websites. She recently wore them on some form of New York public transportation, where she was seated near a damaged Vietnam veteran. The veteran seemed to recognize her boots. "He was looking at me like [the boots] belonged to the guy who killed his friend," recounted Jenny. She is starting an eBay store soon and the boots will be the first things to go up for auction.