Wednesday, August 12


I've wanted (to make?) this bag for a really long time, probably since my last trip to Disney World or the Roosevelt Field Mall. Somewhere I saw an elderly woman with a handbag that displayed pictures of toddlers and one high schooler in a suit on the outside of it. I don't have grandchildren or printed pictures of anyone else I know, and if I had either I wouldn't care enough to brag about them on a tote.

However I did have big plans so I searched high and low in a frames store near our apartment for a photo-display bag. When they didn't have one I went online and actually found one - and I don't know if your ready for this nostalgia but it was - on the Oriental Trading website. Oriental Trading, the uncomfortably-named, scout-leading-mom's bible was delivered to most households involuntarily throughout the 1990's. Need an inflatable guitar with flames? Grass table skirts in five colors? How about fortune cookies that quote the Gospel or a potato sack reading, Leap For The Lord? If you'd like 48 packages of Fun Dip for less than $10, I have just the catalog for you!

But now it's online so I ordered a canvas tote bag with plastic pockets. On the website the bag was printed with, Grandma's Love Is Like No Other, which seemed like an insane bonus. When I sent the image of it to Lyle, Lyle said, "Yo my grandma, who I don't even fuck with, had that bag the last time I saw her in Florida."

Atiya and I went to the Fairfax High School swap meet and found a booth that just had shoeboxes filled with pictures. Most of glossies had belonged to dead people, but some of them were just discolored or had fingers in the shot, so they might have been donations from CVS. Atiya collected a bunch of portraits of ugly white couples kissing to hang up in work locker, but I grabbed a bunch with no overriding theme except that all had made me laugh.

Yesterday the photo tote came in the mail but it didn't have any words on it! Oriental Trading had completely forgotten about Grandma's love. The catalog apparently expects me to add my own Grandmother-based or otherwise-appropriate message around the picture slots with multicolored letters that they didn't provide in the box, and I am not interested. There's only so much effort I can funnel into irony before it makes me sick.

Here are some other possible combos including pictures bought from the Fairfax High School swap meet:

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