Look What I Brought Back With Me!

Whoa-oh, New England!

This is my high school friend Andy. And like most people whose parents named them, "Andrew," he totally hates being called, "Andy." He lives in Vermont, which I don't know shit about, except that it gives him the capacity to find sweet- ass hand- made sweaters covered with giant pond animals. He also brags that there are stores in his area that dwarf the number of cheese-based products sold in the fine food shops that a metropolitan cheese connoisseur would frequent. I was already nostalgic for the times I've spent in New England, so now I'm fer- ociously excited to go back. Although New York is not technically in that region and lacks its old world charm, I'll happily be in New York from December 6 - 12. And I'll personally remind you again in a month.

Dropping Some NYC

Last night I hung out with Jenny's friend Christine from San Francisco. She was wearing the same amazing Payless shoes that Jenny has. I got pretty drunk, at which point, in explaining how much I didn't want to live there anymore, I probably said the words "New York" six hundred times. If New York had a dick, Christine would have noted how much I obviously miss fucking it.

Jenny also has these combat boots that are legitimately sold on send-a-salami-to-your-boy-in-the-army Marine Corps websites. She recently wore them on some form of New York public transportation, where she was seated near a damaged Vietnam veteran. The veteran seemed to recognize her boots. "He was looking at me like [the boots] belonged to the guy who killed his friend," recounted Jenny. She is starting an eBay store soon and the boots will be the first things to go up for auction.