I'm Being Invaded!

The other week I woke up with a stressful feeling that my identity was being stolen. It was probably, in part, from all of the minimum wage job applications I filled out, which never lead to any source of income and, to my great discomfort, required that I scribble in my social security number - as though people with felonies don't work at Pinkberry. However, I now believe the real threat to be Elaine Stamatis, taking New York, NY by storm, and fear what similar actions she may take.